@ Four Seasons:

Arnold
Tom Brokaw
Steven Spielberg
Kate Capshaw
Christiane Amanpour
Mayor of Los Angeles
Arianna of course
Woodward
Bernstein
Anderson Cooper

@ HuffPost Ball:
ROBERT DeNIRO!!!!
Chris Matthews
Jamie Lee Curtis
Teri Hatcher
Tina Brown
Sting
Ashlee Simpson's baby daddy
Larry King
Jennifer Beals

As some of you know, I LOVE Hawaii. Hawaii, Japan and Italy are my favorite places on this fine earth. And with the Obama family's recent trip to Hawaii, the place seems even more magical. Theirs is the only trip I have ever vicariously enjoyed!

Obama bodysurfing:

The flower behind the ear is the loveliest accessory, compliments of tropical nature:

The gorgeousness of Hawaii:

As if flying isn't already bad enough, here's another reason to avoid the airways:

Jet bloat.

Seems your intestinal gases expand the higher you rise in altitude, which can lead to some uncomfortable bloating, pain and embarrassing moments -- for you and your seat mates.

And many of the strategies we follow to cope with air travel can actually, er, backfire, says Dr. Patricia Raymond, a gastroenterologist who practices in Chesapeake, Va.

Chewing gum or sucking on candy to reduce the pressure in our ears while the plane is ascending can cause us to swallow even more air. Same for drinking caffeinated sodas -- the more fizz, the more volume, she says.

The expansion of gases at high altitudes has been a topic addressed by the aeronautics industry for years.

"Everybody has noticed this," Raymond said about the expansion of air at higher altitudes. "Even though they don't serve an awful lot of food anymore on the planes, the bags of chips are inflated like a little pillow. It wasn't a little pillow on the ground."

The same thing happens in people. Most people carry about 400 milliliters of gas in their intestinal area, about the volume of a small cantaloupe, she said. But people experiencing gassy problems may carry as much as a liter of gas. That volume at sea level can more than double at 30,000 feet.

Fortunately for your neighbors, most of the resulting flatulence is odorless because it's due to excessive air. But passing this type of gas "can be relatively embarrassing because of noises," said Raymond, who is a medical consultant for CharcoCaps Homeopathic AntiGas capsules.

Xiaoli,

I am still in Taiwan. Just got back from a three-day trip around Taiwan with Uncle Robert and XiXi. We really had a good time. There were lots of us in a big bus, not only for sightseeing but also for KARAOKE the entire time on the bus. Nobody would let the "bus girl" talk in order not to waste singing time. Everybody was so eager to sing. Most of them sing better than me.

Love,
Mommy

This was hands-down the most glorious day. We hiked then snorkeled among the most abundant fish friends.

* I was too afraid of getting Steve Irwined :-( so I wimped out. Luckily John took this great photo instead!

Met two of these thus far on this trip.

En route to SFO. Why of why does the weather in SF have to be colder than in NYC? It's an awesome 78 degrees in NYC right now...be back Sunday!

Thanks to a reader Megan from Austria we now know of this new prison in Austria - what do you think?

From our visit to California in December '07:

* They've ditched us in NYC for a year while they do their sabbatical year at Stanford.

There's the little squirt:

And now here's the massive guy thanks to a tactic we've also employed in other parts of the world!

* Beautifully taken by Deni!

And apparently my body got used to it because I still feel as if I'm rocking back and forth...pretty cool sensation.

Arising before 5 am really shouldn't be undervalued. You feel one step closer to death which then makes you want to live more! I imagine the feeling is similar to that experienced while fasting. So as I head to the airport and then on to a top-secret location that's my prescription for you folks!
Xoxo,
Dr. DreHarner.com

We had a wonderful night in LA with the Sekoff family. We watched Zach perform at the Roxy as part of the original School of Rock then we were treated to some of the freshest, most delicious sushi I have ever eaten at the serenely minimal restaurant Nishimura. I highly recommend this place and hanging out with my new BFFs the Sekoffs!

Purpose of trip is to check out Scientology's Celebrity Centre. JK JK!!

We're going to Tom Cruise's.

Back to NYC on Sunday.
Toodles!

First stop Oxford, then London and finally Cambridge. Be back in a week.

Cheerio!

If it's not obvious, click play!

* Upstate NY Columbus Day '07 Weekend

Getting away from the city for a day and a night was just what the (nervous) doctor ordered! The Overlook Mountain Trail hike in the Catskills was radical. Highly recommended!

Reaching that view from the top after a 2.5 mile strictly uphill hike was sublime. Jonah was able to take cool pictures from the tower after I left him with the camera on the second flight of the tower since I was about to have a nervous breakdown (don't like shaky towers and heights). The burned down Overlook Mountain Hotel was pretty cool too. Hiking down was not as great since it was the flip side of the steep hike up but all in all the 5 mile round trip hike culminating in the breathtaking view was fantastic. Unfortunately the trail head was near a full-on hippie revival with tie-dye tapestries, a band, Investigate 911 booths and spinning hippies plus a Tibetan Monastery with white dudes in monk attire chanting like there was no tomorrow...oh well, it was the Woodstock part of the Catskills afterall!

After the hike we stopped by high school classmate and Mary's BFF Dawn Breeze's new studio opening! Then we had to call it an early night because we had to return the damn zipcar by 11:30 am required us waking up earlier than we do on weekdays! Ew. But at least we got to stay at Mary's awesome new house in Hudson!

* 15 minutes Cessna flight from Nantucket to Martha's Vineyard.

* Susan's sweet Hrairoo.

* John's parents' gorgeous garden!

Welcome to the first in the series of Remote Blogging! In this case, my parents took a trip to Xinjiang for my Mom's 60th birthday and have sent in photos and a description via email. The area looks breathtaking - hope to visit it one day!

Dear Andrea,

For your info, we stayed in Urumuchi, the capital, and made day trips to Shiheze and Turfan. The capital and Turfan were key stops along the silk road from China to the Middle East and Europe. The native population are Uighurs, Moslems since about the Yuan Dynasty, but Buddhist before that. I think I saw something to the effect that Urumuchi is the place on the planet most distant from any ocean. The city is at the northern foot of the Tianshan mountain range (in which sits the lake). There is enough rainfall on the northern side of the range to support agriculture, crops like corn, cotton, and fruit. It's very much like California's Central Valley. Turfan is known for its grapes and raisins. But the high mountain range, with the Tianshan peak towering about 3000 meters above sea level, prevents precipitation to the south. There the landscape is "gobi," the local term for rocky desert, for hundreds of miles.

Love,
Daddy

Waiting in Martha's Vineyard airport for our delayed flight to LaGuardia after taking a tiny Cessna from Nantucket - the turbulence made me cry I squeezed Jonah's hand and thigh simultaneously but that's a whole other fun story! Upon landing here I said to Jonah that the only good thing about the flight was that our pilot was a woman because I feel more comfortable with female pilots. And Jonah said, "Are you talking about a pilot or a gynecologist?"

:-)
:-)
:-)

And I responded, "Both!"

Hope everyone had a nice Labor Day weekend and had enough travel fortune and financial means to take only nonstop flights!!

Upon further investigation the front door doorknob had a sign hanging on it - something about the house being open for the exterminators - might have been why the place was not locked! Lily and Sandy shopped for less flea-laden shoes and a shirt and we ran for the ferry. Unfortunately a mother flea made its way to the big city via Lily - we didn't have the heart to kill it so Lily's working on a flea circus.

I'll be trying out Air Canada today (I'll be sure to let you know if anything exciting happens) and stepping foot in Toronto for the first time. Oops - my mom just told me I've been to Toronto - I was four, we went to Niagara Falls, I wore a checkered dress and my brother who was one at the time wore a striped shirt.

!!!

Laterz!

It feels great to be back home in Tokyo. Woke up this morning with that deeply content and peaceful feeling to be back where you come from!

Not sure how this happened but...I am white.

My brother is brown. My mother is yellow.

If he's titillated you, you can read more about him here.

* Thanks to Annie Maxwell for having a google alert on 'Hello Kitty'! LOLOLOL.

I will be traveling today and arriving in Tokyo tomorrow Thursday evening. Will post AESOP!

xoxo,
AH.com

This woman conjured up images of an older Giulietta Massina. I was smitten. Look at how bold, beautiful and commanding she is!

There are few things better than swimming in a warm ocean with fish friends!! I was in heaven.

* On South Beach, behind The Raleigh Hotel.

After a year and a half it is finally up! If you have 13 minutes to kill check it out!

* Hotel de Ville station.

* At the beach behind The Raleigh, The Standard Miami's sister hotel.

* At The Standard Miami.

* At The Standard Miami.

* At The Standard Miami.

* Collins & 7th, South Beach.

In MyHammy for my birthday - off to the beach! Enjoy celebrating my birthday today! :-)

xoxox
AH.com

* Read about the Bofinger and its interesting past and present via Frommers and The Observer!

* Along the Seine near the Tour Eiffel.

I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared.

* On the Champs Elysees.

* At the Palais Royal.

* Window shopping in the Marais.

* On the Rue des Archives in the Marais

Someone got cute new shoes!

* For more of the Huitrerie Regis dinner click here!

* At the highly recommended Huitrerie Regis restaurant!

* In the Marais.

* In the Marais.

* L'Ambassade d'Auvergne via TimeOut Paris.

* In the Marais.

Please please please don't merde on me.

Fallen or thrown?

* Fellow passenger on the Vedette de Paris.

Delighting in our stay here. Off to get cafe creme, pain au chocolat and the Herald Tribune for the NYT crossword - will post soon!

xoxo
A

I find this fascinating. I fancy myself an amateur ethnographer always observing and analyzing the consumption decisions made by people all over the globe from food to beauty products. I will have my cultural anthropologist hat on when we're in Paris in 10 days!!

* via Kottke.

This article is a really interesting piece detailing exactly what the title says! What continues to haunt me after reading this and of course since 9/11, is how at times, our reliance on technology fails us, fatally.

Look at my cute, brave face:

This is fun and exciting!

Woooooaaaaaaahhhh! You didn't tell me you were letting go, Mom!!

Happy birthday, 1 year old Cyrus!!

I wanted to see how this new camera would capture water images when I looked at my screen and noticed that I had unknowingly snapped this lake creature and pearls to boot!

An impetus for the impromptu Woodstock day trip was to check out this farmhouse I had been lusting after. Let's just say, while the farmhouse was nice...the family clinic five feet away, the firehouse which doubles as concert venue across the street and the location at the intersection of a few country highways was...well not as nice. Lesson learned: Always check out a place before letting it take on a fictitious life of its own or don't, and fantasize away!

This past Saturday we rented a car and drove up to Woodstock for the day. It took exactly two hours - very doable - a super fun day trip, New Yorkers!

* Thanks to my Uncle Derek for the photos and his email: I saw one of these women in Taiwan in 1979. She was 96 years old. I wanted to take a picture of her feet. She was so superstitious that she thought the camera would steal here soul, so she refused.

* Thanks to Sally for the link and the email intro, "NOTHING IS CUTER THAN THIS...NOTHING!!!!" All caps and four exclamation marks to be exact.

* Jersey Shore, Long Beach Island 5.4.07 weekend.

More photos from this trip to come - in the meantime enjoy this first installment! P.S. I love you Nikon!

Thanks again to Eric, Caitlin and Cyrus for the great weekend!

* via The Harmony Blog!

* Pudong, China.

Here are my fave five - for the rest click here!

* via Kottke.

Ze Frank said Josie looks like Hitler in this photo - can't say the guy's wrong - really really really cute Hitler look-alike though!

* Whole Foods, Austin, TX during SXSW '07

Found this fantastic photo on the internets of Juice, bloggerazzi, and our very own swooning Peggy:

For more Juiceboxxx photos on Flickr click here and here.

* At the BuzzFeed-Ze Frank-Juiceboxxx party at SXSW 2007.

I discovered these photos on my camera the morning after the party and really worried that I didn't remember taking these photos. Imagine my relief when Kenyatta told me he took the photos!

Photo shoot of Kenyatta by Kenyatta!

Warning: Even for this blog there are an alarming number of exclamation marks contained within this post.

!!!!!!

The line outside our party:

Cheese(s)!

BuzzFeeders Mark, Chris and Peggy!

Triple cheese!

JP!!

Jacob!

His one hour old tattoos:

My darling friend from high school, Lindsay Muse!

John, thanks for supporting our art! Wanna cig?

Susan and Ze chat about Costa Rica as a great place for detoxing:

Me and BuzzFeed's incredible designer Chris:

Me and BuzzFeed's super cool (not to mention cute!) trend editor Peggy:

Ze! Ze!! Ze!!!

Juice!

Juice!!

Juice!!!

Boxxx!

Boxxx!

Boxxx!!!

JuiceBoxxx was truly incredible - thanks so much for Cory Arcangel for the great recommendation of having Juiceboxxx perform!

Our super talent for the evening:

DJ Juiceboxxx!!

You know you're at a geek party when one of the dancers is wearing a Firefox t-shirt:

One sober BuzzFeeder and one not at all sober BuzzFeeder:

Peggy & Jonah:

What a cutie!!

Jonah-Juice:

Oh dear:

Please get off that stage:

What was I saying, I wonder... Jonah looks worried, Juice looks polite:

Anthony, a friend we made that night - apparently I teased him all night (I did? and about what I also don't remember) and he ended up carrying Juiceboxxx's records to his hotel. The next day Juice said, "oh! I thought he was with you guys - that you guys were friends from New York!" No Juice, he's just your groupie:

And the end of the night, it's always me, Jonah and our sidekicks!

Thanks to everyone who helped make the party a success!!

Oh look, there was an Asian Invasion at the party!!

LOL:

* via Ricky's blog.

While I struggle to put down this book long enough to post my photos from SXSW, enjoy this great Celebrity Upskirts flickr set by Kenyatta!

Some faves:

If only that had been my last drink...ever:

Alas, it most certainly wasn't but our party was off the hook! I party for the team:

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha:

The Fabulous Life of a Blogger:

Jacod Lodwick uses his new tattoo (2 inch demarcations) to measure a girl's grill - hot!

Celebrity Ze Frank who can't even be bothered to ham it up:

Let's party tomorrow night in Austin!!!

Check out the triumvirate!

1) BuzzFeed on Vaginal Rejuvenation, White Chicks Flashing Gang Signs, and Illegal Drugs Now Harmless.

2) Ze Frank:

3) Juiceboxxx:

Nothing like toe snugglers for winter!

* Muji store, Aoyama.

* YokuMoku, a pastry institution and tres chic cafe, Omotesando.

It was a typical Harner-Yoshida reunion - over delicious food!

En route in the nicest, cleanest cabs in the world!

How cute are Keiko and my oniichan (Yasushi)!? My lurking Ojichan too!

My obachan and mom out of focus but only literally (don't know exactly what this means but it feels right)!

Now that we're here...group photo!!

Let's start with some abalone shall we? Japanese tip/wives tale for pregnant ladies: if you are expecting a daughter and you eat lots of abalone, your daughter's complexion will be beautiful:

Me and obachan! (I can't figure out the weird shadow cast over my face):

And now for the shrimp. Cook it up, Chef! Cook. it. up!!

Oh poor shrimps:

Poor:

Delicious:

Shrimpies:

Jonah, pregnant and incredibly cute Keiko and Oniichan:

Ojichan (The OG), Edward and Pops:

Oh the steak:

Was so soft, flavorful and mouth-watering:

It's hard to describe:

But easy to taste and to recall tasting::

Voila - in little bit-sized pieces which if I could have all my food that way I would!

On our way out we spotted the raw goods:

Jonah's very patient with my photo-taking:

* Let me now state for the record that according to my palette, Japanese steak is the best steak in the world.

I love when geeks make stuff like this. Anything to do with travel, I'm in! Wow, I did surprisingly poorly - 66 countries in 10 minutes. How did you do?

Clearly, function was prioritized over fashion!

* via Kottke.

BuzzFeed is nominated for best blog this year at SXSW so...party throwing time!!!

You may already know and love Ze Frank but you may not yet have heard of the unstoppable Wisconsin white-rapper Juiceboxxx!!!!

If you're going to be at the party, let us know here and not by being that guy or girl at the party.

Dude. Yes, dude. As much as I love airport security, how awesome does this sound?

Travelers who join the Clear Registered Traveler program are pre-screened for security and provided with a biometric card which will allow them to pass through security faster, with more predictability and less hassle. Clear is fast, convenient and secure. As a Clear member, you'll be in control of your own time and your own schedule. Clear's first year price is $99.95 (includes a $28.00 TSA vetting fee).

Know anyone who's a customer? I'll let you know if I become one and whether in fact one does fly clear with Clear.

* via Thrillist!

Ramen!

Japanese strawberry shortcake is in a league of its own (I would argue pastries regardless of where they originated from are best in Japan - they know how to take stuff from elsewhere and make it better!):

Vending machine corn soup - I kid you not:

* Photo by Cameron, San Francisco.

Lupinas. Let's say it again. Le Pee Nas.

Lupinas?!

* Sakuragaoka, Tokyo

Attractive:

Tokyo's classy Sentaagai area:

Edward helps lady whose stilleto was stuck in the grate:

I'm a real gentleman:

So it doesn't count that you pushed her into the grate right?

Wiiiiiiiiiii!

I love Tokyo~~~~~~~~!!!

Function Junction, baby!

Group shot:

Don't know if I've ever eaten a $200 melon but Japanese melons are hands down the best melons I've ever had. I'm certain this melon was delicious.

Even in Tokyo (Omotesando) I had to document Kate Moss - just in case she wasn't documented enough already:

I may or may not have recently purchased this Kate Moss necklace:

* Shibuya Sentaagai, 12.06

The line at Midori Zushi - Jonah's circled:

Finally, sushi!

Sushi delight!

Snap! Back to eating...

Sushi serious eating time:

P.S. What's your favorite sushi place?? NYC and beyond, please!

When you buy $500 worth of t-shirts and sweatshirts in one store, in one fell swoop, the excitement (yay! I don't have to shop for a long time and these clothes are awesome!) and nervousness (did I make a $500 mistake?!) make you do the new clothes dance:

Bonus tip: Watch my mom's disapproving expression in the third frame.

* Our apt in Tokyo, 12.06.

I'm not going to the DC Comics headquarters and to the hospital, silly!

Ugh. Make me stop. And my insomnia induced stomach-ache.

* Shanghai, in a busy KFC.

I am seriously coveting these items. I saw them in Shanghai and thought the 900 or so RMB price tag (roughly $110 US) was a good price for the whole set until I discovered it was just for the teapot. The tea cups are pricey too.

But aren't they beautiful and cool??!! I'd love to get my greedy little paws on these beauties!

Had a short but sweet reunion with Amy in Shanghai and here is the photo shoot by Jonah!

Don't forget to pick me up some chicken feet, k?!...is how the saying goes...

* Shanghai, China 12.06

Some photos of this little awesomeness:

* Ochanomizu sushi bar, Tokyo, Japan 12.06.

Oh, right! Silly me, I hung them out to dry!

* Taken in Shanghai's French Concession 12.06.

Once in a while I actually love a photo of myself - one such photo has come along:

* Taken by Jonah just outside of Shanghai's newly relocated illegal market with pirated DVDs, fake bags, watches, clothes etc - like Canal Street but literally underground.

* At Steakhouse Hama in Roppongi, Tokyo, 12.06.

** We leave for the airport in a few minutes...blog you soon!

or rather...working it !!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA!

* Photos by Jonah from my visit to my mom's well-frequented hair salon in Shanghai.

** Am currently tired and tipsy after a day at Kamakura and after a feast at Steakhouse Hama in Roppongi...good night!!

My parents made a great decision by buying an apt here. After delicious food and drink tonight, going to bed...on (real Japanese) futons.

A few seconds before this happened:

Last Saturday, after a ferocious celebration on Friday night of a certain event which I am not yet at liberty to tell, we headed to the country in search of a fun time checking out country houses - this is a New Yorker's idea of window shopping.

But of course we first had to suffer through the rental car experience...so much apathy behind the counter, so much frustration in front of the counter. Remember, we were also "reduced" that day thanks to secret celebration the night before (stay tuned, the reason will be told!).

My head hurt which made it harder for me to be the charming 'backseat driver in the passenger seat' person that I am but I managed.

Even though it was a sporadically rainy day the drive up was beautiful:

Duncan our happy navigator was also in on the celebration hence the red eyes and hanging-on-for-dear-life expression:

We were an hour and a half from the city and there were trees. Trees! TREES!! We talked a lot about trees that day:

We met with the broker to see the place that looked good to me online - what they call a log home - there's the old nestler!

Except it wasn't that much of a nestler you see - notice the road - this was a major dissapointment as my whole point of a country house is to leave the city noises such as cars, behind. Also, the cabin albeit cute on the outside would have needed work on the inside - not a perfect fit:

Canadian flag:

It had a cute shed:

And better yet, just behind the house, atop the hill was a treehouse! Well, a treehouse platform.

Treehouse shenanigans:

There would never have been enough goading to get me up there:

Never:

The view from the bottom of treehouse if you're too scared to climb up :

Orchards!

View from the treehouse:

Zoomed in:

When the broker realized I wanted to be as far away from the street as possible she showed us a plot of land for sale, further in from the raod and adjacent to the log home land - they are for sale together if anyone's interested! - I work on commission.

The only problem with this land was that there was a McMansion (ok, almost a McMansion but not quite - still offensive though) bordering one side of the land. We realized it would be possible for the devoted to buy both plots and carve out a different entrance to avoid ever seeing the McMansion - it would still keep me up at night though - but otherwise the land was ideal:

The path in:

Cute mushrooms grow wildly in the country!

The beautiful view from within plot of land:

Assessing the situation - so if we went in on this together, how much would it cost to buy both plots of land, have the cabin be for guests and build a dream cabin here?!

More awesome tall trees!

Needless to say we left the country empty-handed but exploring the country and country houses sure is fun - highly recommended activity for city mice!

The End:

* Red Hook, NY in Dutchess County.

I miss my twin. Not only does she live on that other coast, she's been traveling in Thailand for the last month. Here are some photos she sent me - enjoy the beauty, wonder and hilarity that is Flatty! And Thailand of course.

Pretty lady, pretty architecture:

This is an indigenous flower called the Purple Rain flower:

What???!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!

Nature:

Andrea has always loved cows - look at her expression:

All through high school her bedroom was decorated with cow posters, cow stuffed animals, cow ceramic art:

Get it out girl. Get it out:

Aka - Please don't do the nasty in here. Thank you.

Near naked in the fields - you know, it's a blonde custom to do when visiting Thailand:

Nature:

Get it out! Lube it up if ya have to!!

Flatty needs a break. She needs a break!

Big animal, brave man:

Flatty the Forest Nymph:

Andrea's fearless (fearful?) friend Dede with a big kitty:

The End:

Thanks to Dede for taking these great photos! Miss you much, Flatty!

Ladies who asked where I got this cute cherry blossom suitcase, congratulations on also having good taste and good sense enough to want to purchase this baby. Flight 001's where I got it - it looks like you can order online too. It's a great weekend trolley - small enough to carry on too! Be prepared for airport security people to tell you how happy it makes them to see this suitcase after seeing the same black trolleys over and over again. Love this luggage!!

It was our first time in Montreal and it met our high expectations. Now how often does that happen to a jaded New Yorker?? Not often and for that, merci Montreal.

F walking! Airport shuttle it!

Digimart put up Jonah (and me, parasitically) in the lovely boutique H�tel Godin:

Concrete never looked so good until it was the ceiling of the room:

Who's got the cutest suitcase? Me.

Foliage!! Nature!! Montr�al!!

Rue de Boullion!!

How could this not be my favorite rue in Montr�al??

A tree grows in Montr�al and it gets hugged:

Cute Montr�al architecture:

My favorite restaurant in Montr�al:

The main drag:

I like this! Sold!

Weirdos on their way to dinner:

Sans Menu on the Western side of Montr�al was just right - good food, wine and great laid-back atmosphere:

The lighting was romantical:

The company was delectable:

Oops. Hunger was prioritized over documentation:

Montr�al's Old Town:

More Old Town:

Is this getting Old yet? Arr�t, I tell you, arr�t!

Cuteness that only a European city provides:

Nice-looking restaurant we didn't eat at:

Souvenir for your boo:

Souvenir for your biyatch:

Between the Old Town and the pier:

Old grainery across the way:

Jonah points out the weird architecture across the way:

It would be cool if the Canadian flag had some blue in it...and some stripes perhaps...and to top it off, some stars...ha ha ha ha ha!!

After spending a wonderful weekend in Montreal I am heading home to NYC today. Why was I in Montreal? I was tagging along to Jonah's speaking engagement at Digimart, a conference about new modes of digital distribution. It begins today and if Jonah has anything to do with it, it will be a great conference. If you're in the very nice and cool city of Montreal that I had the pleasure of meeting this weekend, check out Digimart:

Photos from Montreal are forthcoming!

Another beautiful day in Yosemite:

Meet the Griswalds:

When biking, never forget your sunscreen! And always err on the side of a tad too much:

What's all that dirt on my brother's leg? Oh nevermind, that's the beginning of his leg sleeve tattoo. My parents are excited:

Girl power biking team:

Boy power:

I've gone to Yosemite every summer and it's splendor has never let me down:

Even the paths are pretty:

It's fun being at the front of the group, isn't it?

Yes it is!

You never want to let them get any closer than this:

Who says guys can't multi-task? They're biking, breathing and in the middle of pirate joke #576:

What is this I spot??

I do believe it's a deer:

There's nothing like a swim in the Merced River after biking:

Even though there was 'a little situation' as Jonah's back got scratched up again. What happened was Jonah emerged from underwater to find the pitbull that never stopped swimming in the river, swimming/climbing on his back. Ow:

Does this photo leave you wanting more rock?

P.S. Our friend Duncan climbed to the top of El Cap. Pretty cool and crazy.

My grandmother Nahna's house atop a mountain, where she lives with her guns, dogs, cat and 'tude:

She's got lovely views:

And a cute little tack room:

She also lives with framed messages encouraging laziness like this:

And a giant bear:

And a pretty cool plaque!

And a scary sign...now we know one culprit!

At all times, Nahna has two dogs: 1) a bigger dog that pretty much stays at the top of the mountain, protecting her and the house (in the past she's had a german shepherd and an alsatian, currently a lab mix, always from the pound) and 2) her smaller dog that travels with her everywhere and this woman truly travels everywhere. Sadly, her last dog Penny died. She loved her so much she adopted another one (the one pictured here) that looks just like the former Penny and her name is Penny 2.

Penny 2 in camoflouge mode:

Penny 2's ready for her close-up and for a new, more individual name:

'Top of the mountain' dog Shiloh chills in a tiny stream after a long chase:

Another thing my grandmother always has is a cat named Kitty. Hey, look at the camera!

Why do cats never do what you ask them to do??!!

There's my cutie cat:

A monster:

Here's the indoor pool (the outdoor one was clawed and ruined by a bear). This pool hasn't been used in a while but it was the scene of many years of summer fun including one year when all the fun and games resulted in someone getting hurt. My brother came up from under the water just as the pool swing was swinging at him and it cut open the back of his head and if you've ever experienced or witnessed a head injury, it bleeds...a lot. Emergency room and stiches. No fun.

My demonstration for size:

Nahna! You have got to pick up after yourself!!

And that was your little tour of my grandmother's house by your favorite nature people:

These horses belong to people who live near the bottom of our ranch (like how I subtly made us sound better and them lesser?) but I like taking pictures of them as if they're ours.

Pretty right? I mean the horses.

Hey, pretty lady...

Sometimes fouls sleep laying down:

Even if it looks really scary and the other horses seem concerned, don't panic.

Psst. Photography tip: If you forget to zoom out before taking a photo you might just end up with a masterpiece on your hands:

* Labor day weekend '06

It was the 50th anniversary party for the ranch and we were partying!

And I knew I wouldn't have to handle any of my problems that day (located in my grandmother's bathroom):

It looked like we had company!

And more company!

It was a ____ caught in __________!

We drove down to the lower ranch where the party was on the back of my grandmother's truck. I have so many childhood memories of riding in the back of her truck - too many cousins to fit in the front and she preferred us in the back anyway. As a 30 year old, it physically hurt a bit more than I remembered:

Trees and sky. Wasn't so into it when I was a teenager but now I'm an aficionado:

Run Penny 2!

Penny 2 as always, ran like the wind and followed us. The origins of her name will be divulged tomorrow.

Poison oak. When my brother lived at the ranch during a brief stint in high school he got a poison oak rash in a less than ideal place. Jonah asked him, "what were you doing, Ed?" Silence.

Me and the lady of the mountain, my grandmother Carol Harner, aka Nahna. If I'm as fiesty as she is in her mid-80s I will be delighted...and fiesty.

Jonah rocking at Carol's Country Club:

Nahna set up an incredible little museum of 50 years of ranch memorabilia. Uncle Mark, a museum goer:

Some other museum goers:

Cute. At least what I consider cute:

Introducing my Aunt Suzi who always means business. And by that I mean family business. She has never, not even once, not sent me a birthday card, graduation card, etc. Yay Aunt Suzi!

The lower pond:

Cousin love - we're a family of visor heads:

There are old trailers laying around:

Jonah and mini trailer for size:

Inside the trailer-camper is a little spot for a spot of tea:

We also have a fine display of racist art - come check it out sometime!

Mother and daughter photos never tire! (for mother and daughter at least...)

Hanging out:

Aiden! You've got a big stick!

Guy with gun on right. Guy with fanny pack on left:

It was so hot this was the closest we could get without feeling heat:

Hello. My name is Mark.

More hanging out:

My dad the Rockstar Energy drink-drinking cowboy:

Gettin' dangerous on the ATV:

Where's Jonah?

Uncle Mark on an ATV date:

My dad is a gun-shooting conservative:

Jonah is a gun-shooting liberal:

My brother Ed is a middle of the road, nearly naked spectator:

Cousin Jessica holding the Chuck It, a great invention because you don't have to touch the slobbery ball and super dog Gracie who will chase a tennis ball 24/7:

The ball is chucked and Gracie is in the weeds and barely breathing:

Eyes always on the prize:

Good dog!

Amazing Gracie, you are ready for your close up and a rest!

Jonah's sick of pictures and ready for a rest too:

At the end of the day we went to the hippest cafe in town. Well, the hippest cafe that stays open until 8 pm.

Happiness is Mariposa, CA indeed!!

Thanks for the fun times, family!

* Labor Day Weekend 2006

We touched down in Oakland and within an hour our eyeballs were feasting on this!

Then my paws were all over it:

And then my mouth cavity was all into it:

For the record, In n Out burgers are my favorite burgers.

And I really don't need to be challenged on this.

* Near Oakland airport over Labor Day weekend 2006.

If you like this post, digg it!

A great piece from The Economist: In-flight announcements are not entirely truthful. What might an honest one sound like?

"GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don't want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft's navigation systems. At least, that's what you've always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn't sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

On channel 11 of our in-flight entertainment system you will find a video consisting of abstract imagery and a new-age soundtrack, with a voice-over explaining some exercises you can do to reduce the risk of deep-vein thrombosis. We are aware that this video is tedious, but it is not meant to be fun. It is meant to limit our liability in the event of lawsuits.

Once we have reached cruising altitude you will be offered a light meal and a choice of beverages—a word that sounds so much better than just saying ‘drinks’, don't you think? The purpose of these refreshments is partly to keep you in your seats where you cannot do yourselves or anyone else any harm. Please consume alcohol in moderate quantities so that you become mildly sedated but not rowdy. That said, we can always turn the cabin air-quality down a notch or two to help ensure that you are sufficiently drowsy.

After take-off, the most dangerous part of the flight, the captain will say a few words that will either be so quiet that you will not be able to hear them, or so loud that they could wake the dead. So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.”

Someone loves ice cream and she's in this picture:

Andrea, Edward and an unidentified, curious party at Hanauma Bay:

Syuri wins cutest smile:

Edward gets an A for effort:

It's easy to miss Hawaii:

My preferred applied sunscreen pattern:

Syuri and her band:

Girl power:

Gross power:

You can never be too old to harass nostrils:

Or youthful cheeks:

Nahna's glasses represent!

Introducing the newleyweds, The Hams:

Thanks to my godbrother Hiromi Yoshida for the cds of pics!

...and we are headed back to NYC. Thanks to aviation technology for making this possible and to Court TV and Animal Planet for making it a joy.

Full disclosure: I was wearing flip-flops so perhaps they wouldn't be as lenient with sneaker-wearers but it's worth a try or further honing of the method.

Even more full disclosure: I grew up in Japan (thank you fate/parents!) so I have a remarkably different view of cleanliness than most Americans do. Similar minded folks or full on OCD sufferers, try this new strategy!

I tried walking through security without taking off my shoes and when they insisted, I took my left foot out of my flip-flop, and swung it up in the air saying, "I HAVE A TOE FUNGUS." I thought that would be enough but damn, with the recently increased measures it wasn't. I repeated, " I have a fungus" and threw in "with an open wound" and unless they offered me slippers I couldn't let my foot touch the bare floor. So instead I was asked to sit in a chair while they screaned my flip-flps and my feet never touched the dirty floor.

This photo represents the exact opposite of my current surroundings as I wait amidst lifeless workers, flourescent lighting, loud, barely comprehensible pa announcements and no cuteness whatsoever, for the second hour in JFK's terminal 6 for my delayed flight. Flowers, life!, sweet sweet dog, cuteness!, nice feelings all around:

I got sick of whining for In 'n Out Burgers to no avail and Jonah got sick of me whining so we're off to California, in search of those elusive burgers I love so!
We will be eating burgers and visiting family through Tuesday. Happy Labor Day weekend, readers! You deserve a break!!

* taken several years back on a family trip to the fantastic city of Lijiang, China.

A hilarious review of a book about Italy and Italians. Enjoy!!

---
Books of the Times
An Insider Explains Italy, Land of Cheery Dysfunction

By WILLIAM GRIMES
Published: August 23, 2006

In Italy, red lights come in many varieties. A rare few actually mean stop. Others, to the Italian driver, suggest different interpretations. At a pedestrian crossing at 7 a.m., with no pedestrians around, it is a �negotiable red,� more like a weak orange. At a traffic intersection, red could mean what the Florentines call rosso pieno, or full red, but it might, with no cars coming, be more of a suggestion than a command. It all depends.

The red-light mentality, as the journalist Beppe Severgnini sees it, explains volumes about Italy and the Italians. �We think it�s an insult to our intelligence to comply with a regulation,� he writes in �La Bella Figura,� his witty, insightful tour of the Italian mind. �Obedience is boring. We want to think about it. We want to decide whether a particular law applies to our specific case. In that place, at that time.�

This principle applies to traffic regulations, taxes, solemn laws and personal behavior. Everything is personal and open to discussion. As a result, Italy totters along in a state of amiable chaos, its situation desperate but not serious, which is more or less the way Italians like it, those in charge and those, in principle, being led. �Controllers and controlled have an unspoken agreement,� Mr. Severgnini writes. �You don�t change, we don�t change, and Italy doesn�t change, but we all complain that we can�t go on like this.�

Mr. Severgnini, a columnist for the Milan newspaper Corriere della Sera, turned a fond eye on the United States in his last book, �Ciao, America!,� but this time around, on his home turf, he bites harder and deeper. The paradoxes of Italian life engage him. They bring out the reflective wit that, he argues, is native to most Italians and may be their most potent weapon in the struggle with bureaucracy and social dysfunction. Intertwined with native wit is a strong sense of self-esteem enjoyed by even the humblest Italian, as well as a fatal weakness for beauty and surface appeal, �la bella figura.�

Italians, in other words, would just as soon look good as be good. The country suffers from an ethics deficit, most clearly visible in the attitude toward taxes. Lying outrageously about one�s income is considered normal. In the United States the public regards tax evasion as morally reprehensible. If he were to cheat on his taxes in Italy, Mr. Severgnini writes, �two neighbors would come round to ask me how I did it, and two more would loathe me in silence.� No one would report him.

Mr. Severgnini presents his guide as a tour that is partly geographical and partly conceptual. Over the course of 10 days, he travels from Milan to Tuscany to the far south: Sicily and Sardinia. But the places are merely excuses for little treatises on beaches, restaurants, cellphones, airports, condominiums, piazzas, gardens and offices, all sprinkled with clever observations and telling statistics.

The differences between Italian and British flight attendants, illustrated in a hilarious vignette, help explain the Italian sense of personal drama and the national talent for creatively responding to small crises. Italian flight attendants are poor at serving you coffee but good at cleaning it up and sympathizing when you spill it. Some of this is merely glib. Mr. Severgnini, himself no stranger to the lure of la bella figura, would just as soon turn a beautiful phrase as make a point, and he might do well to heed one of his own points about the restlessly fertile Italian brain: �you can�t amaze everyone every three minutes.�

At the same time, Mr. Severgnini, as he skips lightly from one topic to the next, manages to sneak in some revealing statistics. One in three Italians finds a job through a relative. One in five has moved in the last 10 years, half the European average. Telecommuting is virtually nonexistent, engaged in by only 0.2 percent of the work force � in part, Mr. Severgnini theorizes, because it deprives Italians of the social drama of the workplace.

The Italy that Mr. Severgnini describes seethes with frustration. Government works poorly. The legal system barely functions. Too many Italians are crowded into too little space. Fear of failure stymies innovation. Mr. Severgnini is dismayed at the national genius for enjoyment and the Italian inability to plan for the future. �Our sun is setting in installments,� he writes. �It�s festive and flamboyant, but it�s still a sunset.�

Yet in many areas Italians have jumped at modernity and thrown over tradition almost casually. Cellphones are a national mania. They allow Italians to be Italian in new, entertaining ways. The shopping mall (but not Internet shopping) is popular because Italians pretend that it�s a piazza. New nonsmoking laws, widely predicted to be an absolute failure, have been accepted without a fuss. They created new gathering places and new forms of conviviality. One young man cited by Mr. Severgnini started smoking as a way to meet girls. Restaurants go in for all sorts of newfangled gadgets in their bathrooms, and Mr. Severgnini has a field day with the automated sinks, concealed light switches and baroque flush technology that challenge the Italian diner today.

There is one rule, by the way, that cannot be violated. It is wrong, and possibly illegal, to order a cappuccino after 10 a.m. This is worse than eating pizza in the middle of the day. It is nonnegotiable. Discussion over. Rosso pieno.

---

* Via Ann.

For my 30th birthday Jonah and I went to Miami!

South Beach baby!

Look at that delicious ocean!

See how clear the water is?

I realized early on that I am a water creature. Like a fish out of water that's just been returned to the ocean/the fishbowl/the river, I was so fucking happy and relieved to be in water:

But my eyeballs are more of the delicate human kind:

Get away from me while I'm peeing! J/K. I've never ever peed in the ocean.

Jonah's more like an amphibian but he was loving it too:

This is an advertisement for marriage & visors:

Note that the further out people went, the shallower it got - it was surreal:

If you're looking for a good pose you can always fall back on, try this Japanese inspired classic!

The type of beach I love - with beach chairs and umbrellas. The Hotel was great in that included in your price of stay are complimentary beach chairs and umbrellas:

A bunch of beach bums:

A perfectly nice butt:

Hey, Baywatch!

Pam?? Carmen?? Hoff, you there??

You have to love Miami dolls girls - bleached blonde, all smiles, hot pink lipstick, sunglasses, nails and bikini:

After a day at the beach we checked out Miami architecture - don't knock the deco!

Many of the buildings in Miami also change colors:

They think it's worth the money:

Obviously it is:

The first night we went to a Cuban diner/restaurant and ate terrible bread and salad and terrific shrimp in garlic sauce:

You can all thank my camera for its self-timer function - without it you wouldn't have this special picture (Todd Oldham tie-dye robes are yours to roll around in while staying at the Todd Oldham designed The Hotel):

On the second day it started storming at about 2 pm.

I just didn't want to buy it.

The clouds don't say t-storm do they?

It's like when your bangs are all blowing one way:

Thank god for Jonah who's blessed with the ability to anticipate so he said, we should leave the beach soon and head to a cafe before all these people do the same. Sad to say, had he not suggested that I would have been the last person on the beach, blindly believing that maybe, just maybe the storm wasn't approaching after all.

Even though this was what the beach side of the sky looked like...

The storm was just minutes away and as foreseen, the exodus from the beach to the cafes started right after we nestled in at the News Cafe where we ate and drank a girly drink and a unisex drink:

My solo wet t-shirt contest - winner!

Post-storm sky:

Post-storm ocean:

Post-storm beach:

Post-storm lonely lifeguard station:

Post-storm swim face-lick:

Off to our fancy dinner at Big Fish:

Thankfully our cab driver knew exactly where it was because it seems a bit hard to find. In case you're lost with a cabby you can pound on the back of his seat and scream, there's a three foot wide neon sign of the outline of a fish! Can't you find it?? I know we're in a city of neon but it's of a fish!! and you'll find it in no time:

Fresh made tagliatelle with lobster, shitake mushrooms and truffle butter - quite good although a little too salty:

Jonah's was delicious - Black ink linguini with scallops & asparagus and saffron sauce:

View from table:

Across the street from the restaurant was another changing color building:

It's a night club - the sort of place I don't ever ever ever go to anymore:

And then there was the rooftop pool which was truly spectacular. Clean, nicely designed, view of the ocean, nice staff, delicious frozen mojitis:

From the other side:

I really should have had a visor on! 30 years old and wrinkles accumulating!

More floating - I only recently accomplished floating so...

Jonah was reading a book that was getting on his nerves - psssttt - Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, it's subject is enticing but it's poorly written by a guy who may have narcissistic personality disorder:

Pool time is happy time!

The pain in the ass nasal spray needed chilling so we gave it some ice and a mint leaf from our mojito - a spray-ito!

On our last night we went to have dinner with a family friend who loves roses so we were off to the flower shop - flowers sure are pretty!

This nipped at me when I got close:

Here's what you'll get for $50 in Miami - it was tremendous and very heavy:

All trips come to a jarring end at a terminal gate. Miami airport was filthy - there was a little mousy:

A woman screamed and ran away when she saw this little fella.

As a New Yorker (it's just a mouse, it's not even a rat, lady) and a photographer, I was unfazed and poised to snap photos - mice are very fast and little point and shoot digital cameras can't keep up very well:

Since we've been back, Jonah and I have been busy eating lots of candy:

* Miami is special! It doesn't quite feel like you're in America.

** We booked our flight and hotel through travelocity (not so with Tra....velocity!) which had decent package prices.

*** If you're audio sensitive/can be difficult about noise, you should pack a pair of earplugs. The Hotel as all the hotels in the area and architecture in the tropics are constructed with thin walls.

* Jonah (left) implores me, "Girl, your ass has never looked so good and I know it's not just that bow. Tell me about the butt implants - I'll never tell."

1) Dia: Beacon is a fun museum worth visiting.

2) If you must stay overnight in the town of Beacon, stay at the Botsford Briar Inn - this bed & breakfast is an anomaly in an otherwise desolate town - I'm being a little harsh here but trust me - it's not worth trying to disprove me - trust me again.

3) "Appy Hour" is the way to eat! No more entrees! No more entrees! No more entrees! Appetizers all the way while loudly proclaiming the virtues of "appy hour" to your server! "You don't have appy hour??!! What a shame. I'll have to create it myself then! Apps and only apps and more apps please! It's..........appy hour!!"

4) Cold Spring, NY is a 5 minute train ride south of Beacon and is bumpin' in comparison - antique shops and cute restaurants all along the slightly suspect Hudson River - what's the 411 on the river? Clean? Safe??

5) Cars. You know the big things that contain an engine that can transport you from place to place faster than on foot and storage space that you take for granted until you find yourself dragging around all your luggage? They're are a great thing. Although it's possible to just take the Metro-North up there, walk to your hotel and walk around places, rent a car.

Thanks to Jonah, Chelsea and Della for a fun weekend!

It was July 4th weekend and we were off to the Berkshires - we had never been there so we were going to share in the fun of exploring together - or so I thought. Once we got there Jonah realized, "oh, I have been here!" Great...

Nature - opening shot:

First stop was Mass Moca because we were sick without art - j/k. - like really really j/k. We got there in the evening and noticed it so stopped by.

Oooohhhh, arty shot from behind, Dre!

Our friend Natalie Jeremijenko's upside down trees!

Jonah didn't realize how he inspired me here...

Until I did this funny move:

There's only so much art you can take so we went in search of Jay-Z cds. We stopped at Walmart and discovered that they were all censored cds so in tremendously effective protest we didn't buy anything. We did however notice that a bird lived in the A:

Thank god for Best Buy, we had uncensored tunes to get us to putt-putt!

We weren't going to be fooled by their tricky course.

All lined up - lookin' good, Dre!

Hhhhhmmmmm:

This is what is called an air putt or what Jonah calls a practice swing:

Jonah slapped himself a few times and got serious:

And looked towards the mountains in search of his ball:

FYI - I lost to Jonah by 6 points. I'm pretty sure he cheated by 7 points.

The following morning we set off to our primo destination - Shaker Village! You heard correctly...

While there, we seriously contemplated celibacy since the Shakers lived that way and wondered, "is it so different from our lives now??" ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!!

We asked the guide all dressed up (more like dressed down!) like a Shaker what the biggest scandal to rock the Shaker community was and he answered with a story about two Shakers in love, taking the train up to Albany and getting married. Once married however they were filled with such remorse that they hung out in the lobby of the hotel all night so that there wouldn't be any mistaking that they did not consumate their marriage. Supposedly the guy was so guilt-ridden he returned to the Shaker community that morning and the woman took the $10,000 they had embezzled from the community stash and took off, never to be seen again!

That was what we needed to know so then we were off!

No American holiday weekend is complete without a car show!!

We searched for a car for me - either a Jag XJS or an MG Roadster, I'm flexible - but unfortunately they were mostly all American cars:

Makes me proud to be American:

Can't not love this - it's purple:

Owner of this car's a big skiier:

I wanted what Granny had:

We were a bit concerned but not enough to investigate - buffalo wings called:

We ended that day by drinking beer and eating buffalo wings at the pub across from the inn where we stayed - we're married, what do you expect us to do? Party?!

The following morning we were off to Waconah Falls! I love love love love love waterfalls.

Snowmelt feels cozy:

Fellow Americans:

A forest nymph:

We then went biking!

I especially enjoyed leaving Jonah in the metaphorical dust and gloating!!

I even had time to admire the shadows:

Now can you see him??

My view while biking - his view was a still-life:

Although he was gaining speed...

Poor me didn't know he was getting closer...

Check out his shadow's body language!

And then I heard a super annoying, "ON YOUR LEFT!"

And then it was his turn to gloat:

And enjoy his view and mess up mine - not that we're competitive:

Friendly tip - if you're deathly allergic to bee stings like yours truly, it's good to wear bright colors that attract bees like a flourescent orange skirt as pictured and to forget your epi-pen:

Who doesn't love gooses geese on a lake?

And purple flowers?

Oh my god! What happened to the background??!!

White flowers:

After biking and smelling photographing the flowers along the way, Pecks Falls was our next destination and second waterfall in one day!!!

They were beautiful:

And I was cold!!

But I knew I had to brave it:

Even as I got numb and number:

Because it is almost always worth it:

JP was ready:

Looking brave, Jonah!

Frozen pensive moment - he might have been peeing here:

He was fine!

Nature - closing shot:

* Thanks to me for my ingenuity to finally google, "html for crossing out words" and discovering the STRIKE TAG!!! Get used to a lot of crossed out words, bitches!! Please bear with me while I overuse this great html tag for a while!!!

** Thanks to the friendly guy at Berkshire Outfitters (not at all like Urban Outfitters, people!) for the Pecks Falls tip!

Let dogs make love to them:

* On aforementioned trip to the country! Well, Boston.

While white girl rapping "Mo Money, Mo Problems". It's not embarassing at all:

* Taken during last weekend's trip to the country! Well, Boston.

I've birthed again - the whole birthing process for me is like a stroll through the park with just the right ratio of sun to shade:

The Pro-Suffocation Lobby says this is ok:

What's wrong??!!

WHY DO YOU HATE ME ALREADY??

I suppose he'd rather be with his original family:

Hannah and John, Tex is very very cute but watch out for what really comes out of me!!

* from this weekend with Celeste & Mary in Boston!! More pics to come.

We brought City Kitty Greta to the country!!

Let me out~~~~

We reached Jersey Sky so we let her out:

She was pissed about the cage...until...

She discovered that she was going on her first ever leash walk!!

And she was psyched. Total walk time: under two minutes.

While on the walk, I took a poop, Chinese kid style.

Meet Baxter, the perpetually out of focus dog of the farm!

Emily & Baxter, Best Friends Forever although Baxter will forever be in Emily's shadow...literally.

Oh! 3 o'clock! Time to kiss Baxtie!

When you molest the dog enough he'll get you back by licking your face:

Onto a badminton lesson!

Unattractive Badminton:

Bad Form Badminton:

Fierce & Sexy Badminton:

'Actually Can Play Badminton' Badminton:

Colorful Clothes Badminton:

Intimidation Badminton - bad sportsmanship:

That was as far as he was willing to move for the shuttlecock. Let's all say shuttlecock!!

Time for a hike, rather a nature walk!

This gives you a general idea of what nature looks like:

There are flowers in the country!

And they are always in twos!

Except for this exception:

Aaaawwww:

Trees plus flowers!

Only time sneakers look good:

In nature, next to flowers:

Tree condom:

Tree vericose veins. Trees are really just like you and me.

Apparently in nature, Jonah and I look tired:

Onto the pool!

Jonah far away:

Jonah close:

Jonah at medium distance away - wasn't that fun?!

Sheep shenanigans in the shade:

When the sheep arrived we all secretly envisioned ourselves as Sheep Whisperers:

The biggest dork that ever lived. The sheep, that is:

Cutest sheep close-up and close-up of sheep drool on window:

Best impression by sheep of the cute dog head tilt:

Best postured sheep:

Sheep butt! Ha ha, made you look.

More butts!! I'm deeply in touch with my inner child.

Sheep Glamour Shot:

Susan plants one...on what looks like her reflection:

Jonah holds (sheep) court:

Jonah negotiating:

The most well-behaved sheep of the lot:

The drowning of Susan minus 3 seconds:

The saving of John by CPR minus 3 seconds:

Proof of recycling behavior - yay!

Cutest photo of the weekend - Susan, John & Baxter:

Thanks to Susan Short & John Johnson and Joyce and Seward for a sheep-tastic time!

Look at this beauty:

Complete with an offensive female character hanging from it:

And here's the scooper, a real worker bee!!

I'm enrolling people in my 'ear cleaner rotation program' so if you want to give it a go, send me your contact info!

I really racked my brain wondering what I would have done had I been assigned the seat next to this guy. Keep in mind that his body mass also extended out of his seat area on the other side, not seen in this photo. As close as we've become over the years I don't feel able to share with you my thought process.

You could say I was surprised when at the end of the flight a little female NYU student with nose ring and ipod emerged out of the seat next to him. Understandably she had gone into 'shrink yourself to a third of your size' mode and most likely punched herself in the face to go into to 'pass-out' mode.

* Flight back from LA on Hawaii trip.

Look at how out of sync they were:

This was the most together they ever got:

Guess which dancer was the most elegant and skilled? Hint: The one opening her legs least.

As I child I flew a lot and fortunately, most often on Singapore Airlines. While that airline still seems like the best, I discovered a pretty cool airline flying from LA to Honolulu...can you guess which one??

Hawaiian Air!! Where everything is purple!

I saved these purple utensils and put them on my mantel and gaze over at them and cry with joy every few days:

HAWAII!!!

The light!!

Darker:

Dark:

Green:

Greener:

Aaaahhh:

You kill me!

With such pretty pay phones it's no wonder you'd be a meth dealer conducting business from these phones and contributing to the horrific meth (aka ice) problem in Hawaii.

This was the beach, Waikiki Beach, that we couldn't go in because it was contaminated from a recent sewage spill:

Me and my bro, he's tanning, I'm hiding:

There are a lot of old limos that are used as cabs in Hawaii.

First in the series of limo as background is me and the OG (my ojichan-godfather that Jonah nicknamed the OG as in Original Gangster):

Me and my dear obachan-godmother, the classiest, most lovely lady I've ever known:

Me and Syuri, my older godbrother Hiromi's extremely precocious and charming four year old daughter:

Series: Syuri modeling hats in limo:

You have a lot of series in this post, you say?

Yes!!

One of two in the series of her shoving stuff up her nose. She was after my heart:

I only used this earplug once after she did this. And then I threw them out!

The tall building behind the Louis Vuitton store was my favorite.

This is what Syuri thinks of that building and my commentary on it:

This is a Monkey Pod tree. It's the OG of trees.

First in the series of 'When you ask a random person to take a photo for you they'll often suck at it'. What's that space to the right??

My signature shot:

Ed and Syuri had a swingin' time!

Swinging makes Syuri dizzy:

Really dizzy:

Pineapples come from the ground and not from trees, people!

Brave demonstration for size:

On the biggest tourist trap of an attraction, the Dole Pineapple Plantation Train Tour, I saw the thinnest farmer and horse I've ever seen:

Syuri checking out Ed's panties:

She wouldn't let go:

They made up quickly as everyone should after getting sexually harassed:

And rolled around in bed. Let's hope this is the most rolling around in bed with a boy that Syuri does for a loooong time:

On a road trip to the North Shore...you gotta install the Japanese speaking navigation system!

Americans in the back:

Rainbow front and center!

Tards at Kaihlua Beach:

My younger (of my two godbrothers) godbrother Yasushi, his very tanned skin and two bright floaty things:

Me, my bro and Yasushi's fiance Keiko whom we met for the first time on this trip. Don't worry, we liked her otherwise we would have drowned her.

White smiling girl and Dark smiling guy:

Why do I look pale?

Keiko and Yasushi, very cute and very near:

Keiko and Yasushi, very far:

Garlic Shrimp on the North Shore!!

Truly delicious, shell and all:

Second in the 'When you ask a random person to take a photo for you they'll often suck at it' series.

Here's the OG on the Beach series.

As eyes can tell, the beach is his element:

Look! It's like we're in Japan!

Ramen!

And more ramen! There can never be enough!

Japanese porno. $60 a pop. It's expensive for the good stuff!

Sweet statue:

Scratch & Sniff it:

Here we are, looking like it's me, my husband and daughter!

Sometimes you forget to zoom back out:

Fancy diner and dinner:

My brother got so spoiled on this trip that he refused to ride with us and rented his own limo to "stretch out his arms and legs". I quickly took a picture before I went back to the other limo:

I fought to have him share his limo to the airport with me:

My godmother and Syuri had folded cranes and instead of throwing them out, my godmother wrote a very elegant note thanking the hotel staff and asking them to please enjoy the cranes - you can't make up this classiness and kindness.

So let me piggyback off that and say thanks for enduring this neverending post!

Great, it's yours!

You can pick it up in room 910 of the Imperial Hawaii in Waikiki, Honolulu.

Be warned: When you sit on a plane for many hours such as I did (11 hours to Hawaii, 9.5 hours on the way back) your butt and tailbone will be sore two days after you get back.

As I was packing to leave, I stubbed my little toe, the nail cracked in half right down the middle (I would never spare you the important details, my fine fans - photos to follow. JK Rowling!) and blood spurted out all over the hotel carpet.

When asked to take off my shoes at airport security (of course I had on my gladiator resembling birkenstocks that you can't hide anything in - they're silver btw) I pointed at my feeble toe and said, "My toenail cracked in half so I don't think I should get it near this floor."

And that was it!!

I highly recommend nearly destroying your pinky toe to avoid the nonsense and nuisance of taking your shoes off for airport security.

The eating of French food is great.
The consequences of eating French food...not so great.

Mahalo* for allowing me to share my digestive problems with you!

My Hawaiian adventure comes to an end today. Had a great time with my ohana*.

Aloha*!

* From here on out I will pepper my posts with at least three Hawaiian words. Look forward to it!!

Thanks to everyone for their love and support regarding the contaminated beaches issue (except Lupe whose comments continue to illustrate a very lonely, poor and hateful woman and I don't understand why she reads my blog - Hey girl! Why are you standing outside my window staring at me? Stop ok??!!).

The North Shore beaches were in fact gorgeous and swimmable as was Hanauma Bay.

The water, earth and air are just divine...photographic evidence to follow!!

Mahalo!

To all the haters out there, you'll be happy to know that I'm sitting on Waikiki Beach staring at the beautifully blue ocean and unable to enter it because of the contamination left over from the sewage spill a week and a half ago.

We got to the beach this morning with all intentions of swimming in the ocean because at least Waikiki Beach had opened again after being closed for a week. We quickly noticed that there were very few people in the water and then a lifeguard warned us against it, telling us about her lifeguard friends who got infections where their board shorts rubbed against their waists...just from being in the beautifully blue water.

It makes me so sad to see Hare Krishna evangelists at airports. I know it could be worse and they could have those vacant eyes and be heroin addicts. And I know that from their perspective they've found 'the truth'. I still can't help but feel deeply distraught by the fact that I didn't get to brainwash them into being my unpaid personal assistants before the Hare Krishnas got to them.

Compliments of a fantastic birthday gift from my brother (3 months early), I will shortly be headed to...hint provided below. You only get one guess.

This is a great great great movie. One of my favorites. Watch it. You'll thank me.

Apparently the beaches are still contaminated so I'll most likely be sitting by the pool - just what I hoped to do in Hawaii!

I'll be testing the limits of my sidekick as blog machine in Oahu.

After seeing the Swiss Guards at the Vatican up close, I have to say they should really be called Swiss Hot Guards ('hot guards' should be said with the same ease and rythem as 'hot dogs').

"The guards must be Catholic males with Swiss citizenship who have completed basic training with the Swiss military and can obtain certificates of good conduct. Recruits must be between 19 and 30 years of age and at least 174 cm (5ft 9in) tall." - Wikipedia

*@ the Vatican on our honeymoon last summer.

Speaking of 3d glasses...is there anyone out there who is an expert on optics or knows of someone who is? There's a project that needs his/her expertise. I'll reward you with unlimited reading rights to this site if you can put me in touch with this person.

What were you saying? I couldn't quite hear you when my 3d glasses covered my real glasses...

*More from trip to Ars Electronica in Linz, Austria in 2002 or 2003.

You'll love this button!

*Elevator in Linz, Austria several years ago.

What do you call someone who's weirdly obsessed with gnomes? You can call me that.

*Taken some years ago in Linz, Austria.

* Linz, Austria

The Harmony Hotel website begins like this: Nestled into the sleepy town of Nosara, Costa Rica, 40 miles from the nearest paved road, high standards of sustainable living meet the creature comforts of low key beach life at the Harmony Hotel.

True but it's all that and so much more.

Imagine waking up in a comfortable and understatedly elegant room, walking on a little path through tropical plants while catching glimpses of fluorescent colored crabs and birds, on your way to the dining area by the pool, and eating a delicious breakfast with as much fresh fruit as your heart desires. Then you're surfing, swimming and playing in a beach so warm, soft and beautifully blue you might think you're in your bathtub but then you realize it's a lot better than that. After beach time, you're sitting by the pool doodling in your journal, writing your screenplay, or blogging! via wifi. In the evenings you drink cervezas and meet other creatively minded people like you.

This is truly what the Harmony Hotel provides and I know because I've experienced it. It's tough when your good friends open up this hotel and invite you down to "test" it. We felt obliged. You may recall the tropical fun we had there in these posts: Jonah's Over Horses, Tropical Surprise! and New Years Fun at the Harmony.

Environmentalists will rightfully delight in the hotel's commitment to sustainable living, mellow surfers will discover their scene here and creative folks will rejoice in the perfect opportunity to unwind, have fun and recharge.

Please say that AndreaHarner.com sent you if you go!! :-)*

*Can someone rotate that smiley face 90 degrees. It's not right on its side.

* Paris, France, taken a few years back.

Two years ago I was held up in the security line at ATL airport as my bag got swabbed and swabbed and swabbed because every time the swab was scanned in the machine, the alarm kept going off.

Finally, a big burly guy came over and took over the job from the woman swabber. He asked me for my shoes and ID and after writing down a bunch of things, he returned my flip-flops and ID and told me that he'd written a report on my purse and that I could go.

So then I asked, "Did you find anything?"

He reponded, "Yes, maam, TNT"

I thought, "Wait, I've heard of that. What is that again?"

And he replied in his polite Southern accent, "Dynamite, maam."

I'm almost done preparing for this site's relaunch! so while I finish up, enjoy some more photos from a trip to China several years ago.

While I work to create our new company's logo and while I work on another cartoon, here are some photos I took several years ago.

People who know my hyperactive, neurotic self may be surprised when I do yoga but what's more suprising is my little brother doing yoga. That's why I couldn't believe when this past Tuesday in LA my brother said, "wanna take a Power Yoga class tonight?" Uuuummm, brother? You're still my brother right? Has a yogi invaded your body?

He assured me that I would love the teacher of this particular class and he couldn't have been more right. She was no-nonsense, funny, instructive, inspirational and philosophical but not in a new agey, gross way at all *and* she played hip hop. I finally really liked yoga.

Ally Hamilton is that fantastic yoga teacher who teaches classes at Santa Monica Power Yoga, a donation only place - how truly yogic is that?!

She taught the class in this pose, the whooooole time:

P.S. I'd love to go to this yoga retreat in Maui. It's not donation only but I'm accepting your donations. You can expect really nice thank you notes.

Come on. Isn't it important for you to put me here?

My Black Celebrity Siting Tour ended on my flight back to NYC when I spotted Donatella Versace on the flight. Oh well. Thank you god for sparing me, Lily and Donatella's life.

NYC, I missed you baby!!

It's pouring and cold and I don't want to hear about how it doesn't rain or that it's not cold in LA or CA. It's BS.

Psst - The LA Tourism Lobby is running a racket.

Out here on the West Coast doing some business (when did I start talking like this?!) and so far I've seen Al Roker at JFK when he was acosted by a fan, nearly three times his size and Danny Glover sat 5 row aheads of me in first class (guess if it was him or me in first class) with his adorable grandson (I knew god would spare my plane with a Lethal Weapon legend and an adorable baby on board) and then just now, sat with a black comedian/actor (don't know his name but have seen him in some movie) who entertained us for a good hour and had all the white folk around him laughing and laughing.

If only this all happened last month I'd attribute it to being Black History Month and obviously the delegations sent out their ambassadors...

Spent this past weekend in Vail for our friend Duncan's 45th birthday. I learned that skiing is prohibitively expensive, a pain in the ass for most of the time and fun sometimes. Hot tubbing i