* Thanks to Hannah for this forward!

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

* Thanks to Beth for this!

* Thanks to Sally for this exceedingly lovely way to start my Monday!!

* via Kottke as I never read the Shouts and Murmurs section of the New Yorker but am glad I found my way to it for this piece!

Who could have done this??!!

The killers waited until dark.

On July 22 of last year unknown assailants crouched in the forest, preparing to execute a family of gorillas. Hidden on a side slope of the Mikeno volcano in eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo, armed with automatic weapons, the killers had hunted down the twelve-member Rugendo family, well-known among tourists and well loved by the rangers of Virunga National Park. The patriarch of the gorilla family, a 500-pound silverback named Senkwekwe, would have sensed that the assailants were near, perhaps wrinkling his wide, black nose at their unfortunate smell, but he would not have been alarmed. Senkwekwe had seen thousands of people and had come to accept their proximity as irritating but unavoidable. So habituated to humans was the Rugendo family that the gorillas would occasionally wander out of the forest into cornfields for an impromptu picnic, angering local farmers.

Park rangers at the nearby Bukima barracks said they heard shots at eight that night. On foot patrol the next morning they found three female gorillas—Mburanumwe, Neza, and Safari—shot to death, with Safari's infant cowering nearby. The following day Senkwekwe was found dead: blasted through the chest that same night. Three weeks later the body of another Rugendo female, Macibiri, would be discovered, her infant presumed dead.

Incredible story of a victim's resilience and justice swiftly served.

Thank goodness.

The Supreme Court has struck down a Louisiana law that allows the execution of people convicted of a raping a child.

In a 5-4 vote, the court says the law allowing the death penalty to be imposed in cases of child rape violates the Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishment.

"The death penalty is not a proportional punishment for the rape of a child," Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in his majority opinion. His four liberal colleagues joined him, while the four more conservative justices dissented.

There has not been an execution in the United States for a crime that did not also involve the death of the victim in 44 years.

Click for the full image and story!

* Thanks to Amy Wood for this!!!

I am pretty sure that if we met we would be BFFs and bandmates in Andrea & Jennifer's Cover Band.

While running an errand to court today, I saw a gaggle of cameras and reporters and learned that deliberations begin today in the unimaginably horrible rape and torture case of a Columbia grad student.

Funniest thing I've seen in a long time!

,/a>

My dad, brother and I have been following this story...if only my firm were hired to investigate this case!!

Boy's suffering leads to official soul-searching.

Help! I'm drowning in my own disbelief, disgust and vomit.

Great new word for an old and beloved phenomenon.

BuzzFeed has been so awesome lately! More content means more checking back every minute or so for goodies from the internets! If you haven't checked it out, I encourage you to do so now.

* Thanks to Michelle for the photo!!

Xiaoli,

I am still in Taiwan. Just got back from a three-day trip around Taiwan with Uncle Robert and XiXi. We really had a good time. There were lots of us in a big bus, not only for sightseeing but also for KARAOKE the entire time on the bus. Nobody would let the "bus girl" talk in order not to waste singing time. Everybody was so eager to sing. Most of them sing better than me.

Love,
Mommy

* via Animal Medical Center!

This website rulz!

Check out my brother's transformations:

This article perfectly captures Japan and tickles my belly!

Christopher Bell and his two brothers grew up in Poughkeepsie dreaming of becoming Hulk Hogan or Arnold Schwarzenegger but at some point Christopher, the smallest of the three, realized he couldn't make it as a bodybuilder nor could he justify steroid use. His brothers continue to chase the dream while Christopher attends USC film school and creates this documentary that probes the use of steroids in sports and by his brothers. It is well-done and leaves you questioning the fierce competitive environment that defines America and of course makes her great and extremely troubled. Christopher most searingly highlights the criminal ease with which one can produce "dietary supplements" with no real oversight, the blatant hypocrisy of those who made their careers from and slyly continue to support the use of steroids (Arnold) and the media's over-sensationalization of steroid use. This is certainly a worthwhile documentary to see!

New Yorkers - It's currently playing at the Sunshine!

A+ for being well-written!!

To the Editor:

Re “The Cons of Creationism” (editorial, June 7):

The debate over science versus creationism is in part fueled by the notion that everybody’s opinions and beliefs are equally valid. While in a democratic society we should be respectful of each other’s opinions and beliefs, this is not how science operates.

The scientific method has well- defined rules by which we decide whether a solution to a scientific problem is correct or not. It is not that we believe or have the opinion that a certain solution is correct — we prove it scientifically one way or another.

Thus there are right and wrong solutions that may seem unfair, undemocratic and elitist. But this is how science advances and produces the marvelous technological developments that surround us. And this is not a belief. It is a fact.

Ivan K. Schuller
La Jolla, Calif., June 7, 2008

The writer is a professor of physics at the University of California, San Diego.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

$1 million Australia drug trial aborted after more than half of jurors caught playing sudoku

[The forewoman] said four or five jurors had brought in the Sudoku sheets and photocopied them to play during the trial and then compare their results during meal breaks. She admitted to having spent more than half of her time in court playing the game. The trial, which started on March 4, has cost more than $1 million, including counsels' fees, staff wages and court running costs for 60 days of hearings. Judge Zahra, who had previously commended the jury for its apparent diligence, told the forewoman that the Sudoku players had let down their fellow jurors and all involved in the trial.

* via BuzzFeed.

Frustratingly, I can't find this column from today's The Caucus section anywhere on the NY Times website so here is the best part with my favorite phrase bolded for your pleasure.

In regard to the media not being able to wrap their heads around Michelle and Barack Obama's fist pound and to Fox News' true to form inappropriate comments on the matter, Jim Rutenberg writes,

"The Fox News segment was part of a fist-bump-related media dorkathon that continues, even a full week after the Obamas' onstage moment. Um, people: This is a common gesture, and its use is not limited to democrats with unusual names. In 2001 it was used by Carleton S. Fiorina, the former Hewlett-Packard chief executive - now advising Senator McCain - and Michael D. Capellas, then the Compaq chief executive, to salute the completion of their merger. And in 2006, former President George Bush shared a fist bump with Anna Kournikova at a celebrity tennis event - and he was 82 at the time.

I know I shouldn't fetishize his puffed up little body because they die after a few puffs but how can I not when it's soooooooooo cute??!!!!

GGirl hated being judged for railing asbestos when she ran out of the good stuff. But two hours later all she could think was "I'm so over myself" as her nose bled down her pretty dress.

Click here for the great chart! This is not a joke to get you to click on something absolutely disgusting. Promise.

The better, faster, stronger, lighter, hotter iPhone will be available on July 11th and you deserve it!!! Please hand over your old iPhone and I will hack it so that I can use it while remaining enslaved to T-Mobile in order to avoid the penalty fee of cancelling my contract. Call it your blogger charity. xoxoxoxoxox.

Thanks to a reader for catching this! It amazed me how angry I was when I first saw this. Now Jonah and I affectionately call each other Jeff and Lisa but I will still try to stir up as much trouble for them as I possibly can.

What do you thoughtful people, who won't laugh or cringe at this, think???!!

This was hands-down the most glorious day. We hiked then snorkeled among the most abundant fish friends.

As my hubby wrote, "How cute are Barack and Michelle Obama? They actually love each other!" Also, it's defined as: All the fun of a high five, but less dorky. LOL!!

P.S. I LOVE Michelle's outfit!!

* I was too afraid of getting Steve Irwined :-( so I wimped out. Luckily John took this great photo instead!