At lunchtime, sit next to someone who is audibly and frantically speaking into their phone saying, "I am so filled with self-hatred right now. I just got this awesome job where I have more responsibility than I've ever had...so much so that I feel like they must have mistakenly hired me... and then I go out and get wasted last night, show up at work late this morning and feel like death right now. I have no one to hate but myself."

* Unless you did the same thing the night before.

** Overhead in Duke's Deli on Broadway