Yes, I feel your enthusiasm for this post! Rest assured, a lengthy series of 'Today's Spam Higlights' posts to follow!
I've never had the cleansing experience of pipe up the rear end and sluiced out with tepid water, but the "do-it-yourself' method strikes me as problematic. Maybe a garden hosepipe?
"You've got problems, [apparently they've] got answers." Self-help at its noblest, without question or exception, presuming you've signed the waiver prior to... uhm... use... in the home... with children safely tucked away at grandma's, that is.