"The nerves in Zsa Zsa's right ear are nearly dead. We're going to have to awaken and train the nerves by wrapping her ear with something strongly resembling a tampon" is roughly what I imagine the vet saying to Zsa Zsa's owner.

The neighborhood dogs in Chelsea will tease her until her dying day but she'll have a right ear much less prone to infection.

Way to hit Zsa Zsa over the head with that 'life isn't fair' lesson, Dr. Doolittle.