Whew!! I have ONLY JUST recovered from the HIGH TIMES, STONY AWARDS , my stony friends!!
2 nights ago, I accompanied Comedian Chelsea Peretti, who had 2 Press Passes to the STONYS as she writes for the Village Voice We arrived late due to Chelsea's rigorous comedy schedule so missed out on sitting in the Press section. The only reason that's worth mentioning is that last year in the Press section, Chelsea found herself sitting with Snoop Dogg's GROWERS! Needless to say, she was given succulent samplings of the goods! Thanks SNOOP's GROWERS!!
(Important side note: Last year, SNOOP DOGG received the STONY for STONER OF THE YEAR...6 months later, he swore off the CHRONIC...MAKES YOU THINK, DOESN'T IT???!!!)
So here we are pretending to be stony like all the stoners around us:
We then had to avoid looking at this LAMO-note to WORLD: NOT COOL TO WEAR NECKLACE WITH POT LEAVES.
There were also a few sad moments like realizing that this is as good as it gets for Pauly Shore's career. Catch a fleeting glimpse of him in all his glory as this year's HOST of the STONY AWARDS:
So SURPRISE!! He gets a STONY AWARD for his PERFORMANCE in some CRAP movie and he gives a speech that made you want to say to him in a soothing, tender voice, "this isn't the OSCAR'S, sweetie"
The CROWD PLEASER of the evening was a STONY awarded to THE SIMPSONS!! Yay!! Check out HOMER'S JOINT:
THE crowd was OUT OF CONTROL at this point...easy, stoners!!!
So just when they were HIGH IN SPIRITS, an OLD GUY who writes for Newsday, gets up on stage and says, "SOON, AS IRAQI CHILDREN WILL BE CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAYS, THEY WILL HAVE THEIR HEADS BLOWN OFF INSTEAD OF BLOWING OUT THEIR BIRTHDAY CANDLES"
Ummmm-BUZZ KILL...so let's show another slide of a guy taking a toke off a bong, yay! THAT'LL CHEER EVERYONE UP!!
Sure enough, that was a CROWD PLEASER and the crowd erupts in cheers! WHEW-almost lost them there!!
THANK GOD, the STONER OF THE YEAR award was up next:
The LUCKY STONER was none other than HORATIO SANZ from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!! Look at that sweet kiss for the STONY-yes, the STONY IS A BONG.
Boy, is it easy to lose track of time, my friends...QUICKLY APPROACHING 4:20...gotta run!!