Reporting LIVE from New York City: An ANDREAHARNER.COM EXCLUSIVE on Iraqi life after liberation.
Americans will of course, be VICTORIOUS and Iraqis welcome us with OPEN ARMS!!
The first taste of LIBERATION for those LUCKY, LUCKY IRAQIS, will be an American favorite, HOT DOGS!
This old-fashioned replica is the perfect TEACHING tool to allow Iraqis to LEARN about our great eating tradition!!
EAT UP, IRAQIS!!
Hot Dogs will undoubtedly be an IMMEASURABLE SUCCESS and Iraqis will PLEAD for More, More More!!!
So then we roll in the Pizzas and go the extra mile to introduce to them, the great American invention, THE PIZZAFORK!
Speechless with Gratitude and Impressed beyond Belief, Iraqis plan their Thanksgiving celebration with another great American invention, TURKEY PLACECARD HOLDERS!!!
With these beauties on the table, Iraqis will be just like us, reminiscing with pride about how the ORIGINAL GREAT LIBERATION began in a little place called Plymouth Rock.
Just when the Iraqis will ponder in amazement, "Is there anything the GOOD People of America HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF??" I mean, life as we used to know it, was never so FULL, so COMPLETE and so FUN, FUN, NUMBER 1 !!
The NATION OF INNOVATION will then simply OUTDO OURSELVES!! by providing for them, the vastly improved and dangerously superior...EZ & TIDY KABOB MAKER!!!
Finally we'll THROW IN A BONUS, because we're good like that, by assuring them, "when you don't feel like cooking, and once restaurants, SPRING OUT OF THE RUBBLE, you've got take out!"
They'll then be unquestionably DUMBFOUNDED and ask, "with so many menus, how can we possibly keep track of them?"
Well, that's when we present to them, The TAKE OUT MENU ORGANIZER! Hooray!!
GROUP HUGS commence and we revel TOGETHER in our profound happiness...us, for LIBERATING THEM and them, for BEING LIBERATED BY US.
*******end of report*******
~Stay tuned for for tomorrow's LIFE AFTER LIBERATION, Part II-What their pets will enjoy~